The deserted heart..

The extremes that I see within myself sometimes frightens me.

One moment I am brimming with life and have an overwhelming sense of compasssion and belonging to the world. Love, peace, brotherhood, hope.

And then the next moment, I feel like an empty shell. I look within myself and see a vast barren desert,harsh and lifeless. The gentle "humidness" has vanished; the heartbeat of life vanished, like a mirage.

And then in the deep reaches of that desert, I find a hidden trickle of blood...The trickle widens and soon the eight quarters tremble under its force.

My heart is bleeding..I've been mercilessly left to perish.

The dark clouds of sadness boil in my mind's sky. They boil like deep wounds that will remain open forever.

The river of prayer and compassion that I let loose in my heart for others has dried up.

They have built dams in its path. They have harnessed it's power. They have set up walls

of ingratitude around my selfless river for their benefit.

The heat of merciless indifference has desertified my mindscape...

From this moment, You and I will be confined to just You. I no longer exist.

Where is that oasis of life, that spring of joy, that rainshower of hope??

Why this eternal sadness in the dark side of my moon??