I was walking down the street this afternoon when I passed by a girl, all alone at the bus stand and screaming into her cell phone "You're a devil!! I should've known!!".
It sounded stupid,but then..
Isn't the Devil everywhere??
"Up above is God Almighty
So very far away,
But your brother the Devil
You will meet on every level."
Any takers??
Monday, March 24, 2008
Love....
Love is the blackest of all plagues, and if one could die of it, there would be some pleasure in love.
But you almost always get over it.
There are only a couple of poor wretches who die of love once in a while.
Love is as contagious as a cold in the nose.
It eats away at your strength, your independence, your morale, if you have any.
If everything is imperfect in this imperfect world, love is most perfect in its perfect imperfection.
But you almost always get over it.
There are only a couple of poor wretches who die of love once in a while.
Love is as contagious as a cold in the nose.
It eats away at your strength, your independence, your morale, if you have any.
If everything is imperfect in this imperfect world, love is most perfect in its perfect imperfection.
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Quarterlife Crisis
Ok, now I must tell you all that this post is a knee-jerk reaction of sorts...just an hour ago I reached home after driving some 134 km both to and back from the airport to drop off my mother... I was sitting at my table in my room and relishing the peace of the night. I saw a tiny ant walk on top of a copy of Noam Choamsky's Failed States kept on the table, and then it hit me.
It was sudden, like satori.
But not satori.
Only a troubled realization.
Who am I?
What am I here for?
Where do I go from here?
Wondering what the hell I am getting at?
It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.
You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.
You look at your job... and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you.
Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't. One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure.
You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.
You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you're doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person. One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself... and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!
What I have realized is that every one relates to this feeling.
We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.
I am 25 and I feel I should talk about this to my twenty-something-year old friends ...
I reckon it will help someone feel like they aren't alone in their state of confusion...
They call it the "Quarter-life Crisis".
It was sudden, like satori.
But not satori.
Only a troubled realization.
Who am I?
What am I here for?
Where do I go from here?
Wondering what the hell I am getting at?
It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.
You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.
You look at your job... and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you.
Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't. One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure.
You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.
You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you're doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person. One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself... and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!
What I have realized is that every one relates to this feeling.
We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.
I am 25 and I feel I should talk about this to my twenty-something-year old friends ...
I reckon it will help someone feel like they aren't alone in their state of confusion...
They call it the "Quarter-life Crisis".
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
The Mad God Who Rolled the Boulder
O Mother who begot twelve children;
I am the madman among your progeny.
There are no faggots feasting on my dreadlocks,
Neither are my eyes blinded by solid darkness,
Neither is there the naked, base lust that blows with friction
Causing sparks in the flinty corner of my heart.
In the cemetery where the creaky doors to life close,
Where heaps of ash slowly rest their panting breaths,
Sitting in vigilant meditation,like a wick
That burns without burning, I who scavenge
For the Truth am the madman; I who suffer silently am the fool.
For eons, I have built a fire and sat guard
With a filariatic leg, to that Temple where
All temples dissolve into, where all puppetry
Of nobility burns down, the cemetery of life.
I have pushed the boulder up that Hill of
Bloated and sickening dreams of Desire.
As the eight quarters slowly entwine with
The silent creeper of peace and cover my eyes,
Somewhere in my memory a trail takes a turn
To the ancient straight bloodline of Vararuchi.
(To be continued...)
I am the madman among your progeny.
There are no faggots feasting on my dreadlocks,
Neither are my eyes blinded by solid darkness,
Neither is there the naked, base lust that blows with friction
Causing sparks in the flinty corner of my heart.
In the cemetery where the creaky doors to life close,
Where heaps of ash slowly rest their panting breaths,
Sitting in vigilant meditation,like a wick
That burns without burning, I who scavenge
For the Truth am the madman; I who suffer silently am the fool.
For eons, I have built a fire and sat guard
With a filariatic leg, to that Temple where
All temples dissolve into, where all puppetry
Of nobility burns down, the cemetery of life.
I have pushed the boulder up that Hill of
Bloated and sickening dreams of Desire.
As the eight quarters slowly entwine with
The silent creeper of peace and cover my eyes,
Somewhere in my memory a trail takes a turn
To the ancient straight bloodline of Vararuchi.
(To be continued...)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
